Part of -DASA- Drum & Space Agency, the
Orwellian Forum for Unapproved Knowledge
Patience Earthlings, content heavy.
Edited by Joe White ArtAlienTV
ET Visitors 15
Mandrake is the common name for members of the plant genus Mandragora, particularly the species Mandragora officinarum, belonging to the nightshades family (Solanaceae). Because mandrake contains deliriant hallucinogenic tropane alkaloids such as atropine, scopolamine, apoatropine, hyoscyamine and the roots sometimes contain bifurcations causing them to resemble human figures, their roots have long been used in magic rituals, today also in neopagan religions such as Wicca and Germanic revivalism religions such as Odinism.
(Right illustration) Henbane - Hyoscyamus niger, also known as stinking nightshade or black henbane, is a plant of the family Solanaceae that originated in Eurasia, though it is now globally distributed.
It was historically used in combination with other plants, such as mandrake, deadly nightshade, and datura as an anaesthetic potion, as well as for its psychoactive properties in "magic brews" These psychoactive properties include visual hallucinations and a sensation of flight.
Its usage was originally in continental Europe, Asia and the Arab world, though it did spread to England in the Middle Ages. The use of Henbane by the ancient Greeks was documented by Pliny. The plant, recorded as Herba Apollinaris, was used to yield oracles by the priestesses of Apollo.
The best documented case of Zombieism.
This image of Zombie Jesus (right) may have an element of truth to it.
Is it possible that people can change their state and turn into a Zombie in such a way...... yes!
It is quite conceivable that the tincture given to Jesus during the crucifixion was a mixture of alcohol/vinegar, henbane and opium and just like in Shakespeare's - Romeo and Juliet - he slept in a coma for three days and then arose once the narcotic potion had worn off.
Social Zombieism is basically developed when someone succumbs to the herd mentality and can’t be bothered to critically appraise the world around them because it is just easier to let someone else decide for them. Ever been told that you shouldn’t like something because of your gender? Ever witnessed someone regurgitatinn things they’ve heard from other people without stopping to think of how stupid it may sound or how wrong it may be?
Ever see someone change the way they act, or dress a certain way simply because it’s fashionable? You have witnessed social zombieism. Ever do one of those things yourself? You could very well be infected right now. The media encourage this state of numbness with help from the great consumer gods like Tesco and Wallmart. The new religion with the checkout as the alter.
The fact that you're reading this probably means you are not a social zombie. They wouldn't entertain the idea of a site like this in the first place. Well done for making it this far Earthling!
Documentary and forensic evidence supported eyewitness accounts of cannibalism by Japanese troops during World War II. This practice was resorted to when food ran out, even with Japanese soldiers killing and eating each other when enemy civilians were not available. In other cases, enemy soldiers were executed and then dissected. A well-documented case occurred in Chici Jima in 1944, when the Japanese soldiers killed, rationed, and ate eight downed American airmen (the ninth downed, Lt. jg George H. W. Bush along with four others, was picked by submarine USS Finback, and avoided the fate). This case was investigated in a 1947 war crimes trial, and of 30 Japanese soldiers prosecuted, five (Maj. Matoba, Gen. Tachibana, Adm. Mori, Capt. Yoshii and Dr. Teraki) were found guilty and hanged.
(Above) A Maory woman chewing on human flesh.
(Right) The Carib tribes of the West Indies as described
by Christopher Columbus.
(Left) Cannibalism in Brazil in the 1557. As described by Hans Stadens -
Indigenous Peoples of the Americas.
I don't doubt that Jesus was crucified. I do however believe that Christ was not resurrected because he didn't actually die in the process.
The reason being that he was treated with a Zombie drug whilst on the cross and was taken down between 3 and 6 hours after he was put up.
Most crucifixions were left up for 3 days gradually dying of asphyxiation due to pressure on the diaphram.
It's well documented that Jesus was twice offered a potion on a swab not long after he was nailed up.
Either of these tinctures could have contained both Henbane and Mandrake. These narcotics usually used together can be used to induce a Zombie state lowering the heart rate enough to make the person seem dead. Both were well known at the time and are mentioned in Biblical texts.
The Crucialfiction - Joseph White - 2007
(Below) A suffering patient bends over this brazier fueled by burning seeds. The fumes from henbane seeds were believed to drive the worm out of the aching tooth.
These compounds could have been mixed with alcohol and opium and were easy to come by. Mandrake is mentioned in Jewish texts numerous times. Look it up yourself. Don't take my word for it. It's all about the swab given to Christ at the crucifixion. See more on this article on the next page >
Zombieism is similar to both licanthropy and vampireism and could also have the same origins in porphyria as is mentioned on the Vampire and Werewolf pages.
The only reported cases of zombieism are related to scant evidence of premature burial and voodoo medicine. There is very little to go on.
The very idea of eating raw meat for most people is abhorrent especially if that meat happens to be human. It’s one of the oldest taboos in the world and probably dates back to the time when we lived in caves with Neanderthals.
The Aghori Sadhu's of India eat out of human skulls and consume human flesh on the banks of the river Ganges. (See image right)
Cannibalism was once quite a common practice. In fact we probably ate our Neanderthal cousins as well as breed with them.
Many of their bones have recently been found with butchery marks on them.
The curing and preservation of food is a relatively recent invention and it would have been a lot more common to eat people in the past. A fact that is usually glossed over by many scientists and historians.
Troops fighting in Burma in WWII were eaten by local tribes people in the 1940's. There is also evidence that Japanese troops ate people during that war.....
There are many places where similar instances have happened in recent times. The Congo, Siera Leone, Liberia and countless more further back in history. We will look at some of them here.
The eating of human flesh is supposed to be addictive and have a euphoric effect. This is probably due to the fact that most people eat it when in a desperate and starving state. The rush of transfats and protein causing a high.
While modern societies have proven largely sympathetic to "survival cannibalism" - eating others on the grounds of nutritional necessity - many remain uncomfortable with the notion of the ritualistic consumption of human flesh - however consensual the act may be.
Demonising effect -
The term cannibalism derives from the name of the West Indian Carib tribe, first documented by the explorer Christopher Columbus. The Carib tribe was alleged to eat others - it remains unclear whether they did indeed do so.
(See image below right)
Early accounts of cannibalism by European colonisers have been widely viewed with suspicion on the grounds that allegations may well have been made in an effort to illustrate the necessity of civilising foreign peoples.
For cannibalism has frequently been used as a means to demonise others: Medieval Christian culture frequently depicted the Jew as having a taste for the blood of Christian babies.
While anthropologists approach stories of cannibalism with caution, there does appear to be substantiated examples of both ritualistic and survival cannibalism throughout history.
(Above image) Kumari - Joseph White - 1996.
As well as having Aghori Sadhu's that eat human flesh, the sacred river Ganges is full of dead bodies that are cremated on the rivers bank and then droped in the water usually via a small boat.
People bathe in the water and drink it, inadvertantly consuming the half cremated flesh of the dead. Kumari herself is revered as a living virgin goddess and is worshipped mainly in the north of the country.
There are many similar religious cults in India.
(Above) Survival cannibalism. Made famous by the 1993 film - Alive, based on the flight 571 aircrash in the Andes when members of the Uruguayan rugby team ate the dead passengers to stay alive in 1972.
(Above) Hannibal Lecter in the multi oscar winning film - Silence Of The Lambs.
(Right) Cannibalism was widespread during the Russian famine of the 1920's. Also in the Battle for Leningrad 1941 - 1944
The Aztecs are believed to have practised cannibalism
on a large scale as part of the ritual religious sacrifice
of war captives and other victims in a practice known as exocannibalism -
the eating of strangers or enemies.
In 2003 the United Nations accused rebels in the Democratic
Republic of Congo of cannibalising their enemies, and of forcing families
of the victims to eat the organs of their reletives. These acts were
perpetrated mainly against Pygmies living in a town called Beni near the
Aboriginal Australians are believed to have taken part in what is seen as a more benevolent form of cannibalism - endocannibalism - the consumption of friends and relatives, who are already dead.
In this case, the body of a dead person was ritually eaten by his relatives as a means of allowing his spirit to live on.
Somewhere between ritual and survival lies the case of the Fore tribe in Papua New Guinea, who engaged in cannibalistic practices from the end of the 19th century until the 1950s.
The men of the Fore tribe supplemented their bean-and-sweet-potato diets with small game, women and children made up for their lack of protein by eating the brains of tribal members who had recently died.
Some scientists hold the practice responsible for incidences of a fatal brain disease, the symptoms of which are similar to the human form of mad cow disease, although other experts have disputed the link.
The first symptom of CJD is rapidly progressive dementia, leading to memory loss, personality changes and hallucinations. This is accompanied by physical problems such as speech impairment, jerky movements (myoclonus), balance and coordination dysfunction (ataxia), changes in gait, rigid posture, and seizures.
The duration of the disease varies greatly, but sporadic (non-inherited) CJD can be fatal within months or even weeks (Johnson, 1998). In some people, the symptoms can continue for years.
In most patients, these symptoms are followed by involuntary movements and the appearance of an atypical diagnostic electroencephalogram tracing. Most victims die 6 months after initial symptoms appear, often of pneumonia due to impaired coughing reflexes. About 15% of patients survive 2 or more years.
Cannibalism has also been implicated as a transmission mechanism for abnormal prions, causing the disease known as kuru, once found primarily among women and children of the Fore people in Papua New Guinea. (as mentioned above) While the men of the tribe ate the body of the deceased and rarely contracted the disease, the women and children, who ate the less desirable body parts, including the brain, were 8 times more likely than men to contract kuru from infected tissue.
Nightmarish Symptoms of Sleeping Sickness - Trypanasoma - (Extract BBC website)
"Victims find it hard to concentrate. They become irritable, their speech is slurred and they stop eating. This is an infection that carries nightmarish qualities, reducing many of its victims to a zombie-like state - Professor Krishna -"Their daily rhythm becomes disrupted to such an extent that they can't sleep at night and find it almost impossible to stay awake during the day."It even becomes very hard for them to do simple mental tasks, such as drawing a straight line.
"This is an infection that carries nightmarish qualities, reducing many of its victims to a zombie-like state before they go into a coma and die. "Those that do survive can be left with irreparable brain damage," he said.
In Uganda, every third person is at risk of getting sleeping sickness and in some regions it is a bigger killer than HIV/Aids, he said. There are no vaccines, no preventative medicines and you can be re-infected - providing you survive the first bout.
Is it possible that zombieism is a double disease caused by eating bushmeat brains and also being bitten by the tsetse fly, thus contracting sleeping sickness on top of CJD?
It's certainly a possibility.
(Left video) Ancient Aliens:
Aliens And The Undead - (S3-E14) 43.56 mins
I have put this video here because it has some interesting details about Zombies and the African origins of the phenomena.
You may want to forward it to around 11 minutes into the video.
It also goes into other undead beings from other countries around the world including the Voodoo Zombies of Haiti.
It goes into some detail about Lazerus of the new testement rising from the dead. (Like Jesus)
William of Newburgh / Newbury
"My Jesus Theory" Update
Could it be that when Jesus resurrected Lazerus after he had supposedly been dead for 4 days, he then found out about the use of henbane (as mentioned in the article at the top of the page) as a heartbeat suppressant narcotic.
Did Jesus then use it to perform the same Zombie trick later when he himself was crucified?
Is this one of the great secrets of the resurrection? It's quite possible.
Revenents - William of Newburgh
William of Newbury chronicled several chapters' worth of accounts which mention corpses which are animated and leave their graves after burial - some proper Christian burials, too - and these revenants would cause great havoc and psychological stress on the living. (Book 5, Chapters 22, 23, 24).
"Revenant" probably comes from the French word, "revenir," which means: "to come back" and is associated with the idea of ghosts. Also, the Latin: venire means "to come," so re-venire means to come back, as well. There are other meanings for the word, such as: something occurring without interruption, but primarily, revenant is used to describe a ghost or undead corpse which returns to walk away from the grave...
Back to William of Newbury...
Also known as William Parvus and William of Newburgh, who lived during the approximate years of 1136–1198, and was a monk of Newburgh, Yorkshire. He was a chronicler whose most notable item is Historia rerum Anglicarum, written during the times of King Stephen.
Historia rerum Anglicarum, is basically a history of England from the years 1066 - 1198. If anyone wishes to practice translating Latin to English (or another language), an open source form of the document is available online at the link below:
Historia rerun Anglicarum (William Parvus/William of Newbury/Newburgh) online. (Latin)
In these volumes, William Parvus or William of Newbury wrote about The Anarchy apparent during the reign of King Stephen of England and although the writing is from the 12th Century time period, a good translation from Latin to English makes for very interesting, engaging reading material even today.
Especially where William Parvus mentions REVENANTS...burial customs and such.
Book Five, Chapter 22 heading: Of the prodigy of the dead man, who wandered about after burial
Book Five, Chapter 23 heading: Of a similar occurrence at Berwick
Book Five, Chapter 24 heading: Of certain prodigies
Historia rerum Anglicarum, Book Five, Chapter 22
Of the prodigy of the dead man, who wandered about after burial.
William of Newburgh writes about a man who mistrusted his new wife so much that he decided to spy on her to see if she was, indeed, being unfaithful. Frankly, she was cheating on him and the husband caught her with another man in their newlywed home. Unfortunately, the husband had been hiding in the rafters of the place and when his wife and the other man were doing what comes naturally, the husband became upset and lost his grip, falling to the ground. He died and was buried soon after this unfortunate incident...
He didn't stay buried...
William of Newburgh documented what the people in the county of
Buckingham witnessed regarding the husband who wouldn't stay buried:
"A certain man died, and, according to custom, by the honorable exertion
of his wife arid kindred, was laid in the tomb on the eve of the Lord's
Ascension. On the following night, however, having entered the bed where
his wife was reposing, he not only terrified her on awaking, but nearly
crushed her by the insupportable weight of his body. The next night, also,
he afflicted the astonished woman in the same manner, who, frightened
at the danger, as the struggle of the third night drew near, took care to
remain awake herself, and surround herself with watchful companions.
Still he came; but being repulsed by the shouts of the watchers, and
seeing that he was prevented from doing mischief, he departed.
Thus driven off from his wife, he harassed in a similar manner his own
brothers, who were dwelling in the same street; but they, following the
cautious example of the woman, passed the nights in wakefulness with
their companions, ready to meet and repel the expected danger.
He appeared, notwithstanding, as if with the hope of surprising
them should they be overcome with drowsiness; but being repelled
by the carefulness and valor of the watchers, he rioted among the animals,
both indoors and outdoors, as their wildness and unwonted movements testified."
In the 12th Century, the events in the county of Buckingham were taken very seriously and drew the attention of the populace, nobility AND Church.
Inhabitants in the county of Buckingham sought council from the Church and thought it necessary to correspond with the venerable bishop of Lincoln - who was a resident of London during the time of the events. When this bishop consulted with his peers and other authorities, it was brought forth that the body would need to be exhumed, then burned. Well, the reverend bishop of Lincoln couldn't bring himself to issue any orders for such actions - based on the actions seeming too improper and indecent to perform. Instead, he issued correspondence forth to the archdeacon in Buckingham County, instructing that the body be examined only. Upon examination, the correspondence was laid at the dead man's breast and the grave was closed once more...
After all this (apparently due to the touch of correspondence from a source from the Church?), it is said that the dead man no longer wandered away from his grave and to his old house to harrass his widowed wife...
Vampires, Zombies, Ghouls, Take Your Pick
From the example above, it seems that the REVENANT was much like what we call a "ghoul" or more closely - a ZOMBIE - these days, however, William of Newbury writes more about this phenomena in Historia rerum Anglicarum, and in portions of his text what is described is a vampire-like being which refuses to stay in its grave...
In lore, it is said that the revenants are often those who have died by unfortunate accidents while still in relative youth - definitely those who died too young. The revenants often (it is said, in lore) return to their homes and their loved ones but don't seem to know that they're harassing in what was once their own home... it became habit in some places of Europe, a few centuries back, for females in households of the recently deceased to set out some food - away from the home - hoping that this would keep the revenant/departed loved one from trying to enter the family home...
Mostly, this tactic was short-lived as it seemed to or was believed to continue to attract the revenants and ultimately, the solution to the problem of revenants was exhumation and burning...
Sometimes youthful widows were permitted a night or two of setting out food, just to help with their grieving process...but in the end - it was believed that the only way to deal with ones who return from the grave was to dig 'em up, light 'em on fire...
Surprisingly, not everything about the revenants is negative and horrific in folklore and legend. The idea of a deceased person returning to his (most accounts usually involve a male head of household) home after death MAY ACTUALLY promote the idea of "home," "protection" and the "family unit."
I know this sounds wacko, but in the minds of some, a revenant was an unfortunate person, to be pitied. Someone taken out of this world or living realm at the wrong time...and one who returned, seeking "home and family" after death. On occasion, tales have been told about the revenant returning, time and time again (as noted in the excerpt in bold above) to the appropriate family home - in search of food and to "be at home." Also (not mentioned in the excerpt above), some revenants would linger for very long time periods around a home and it is believed that they would "protect" the home from wild animals and intruders... (ie: "the man was so dedicated to his family while he lived that he cannot stay parted from his family in death."). In the least, if the revenant wasn't violent against intruders, the fact that he was 'non-living' and that animals sense things we cannot - was felt to be a positive point of having a revenant come back...in the minds of some people, anyway.
It may be that we get some of our ideas about the recently deceased and certain beneficial ghosts "watching over us" from far back in history and from the concepts of these revenants...
Most descriptions/accounts of things said to be revenants are pitiful creatures who return to their homes after death, who are "barely aware" and who are "not themselves" anymore. "Animated corpses" but not much more. Often, they don't seem to have been deemed overly dangerous - more of a nuisance, actually - and their "returns" seemed a mainly psychological shock to the grieving family.
Often the "damage" revanants allegedly did by returing home after being in the grave was unintentional and due to the revenant's lack of awareness, co-ordination, etc. ie: a revenant may recognize a loved one, gain access to the family home and, in still being attracted to his family members, he might crush one of them in an embrace or - as in the excerpt above - the revenant lay atop his wife and was crushing her...
As in the account in bold above (the deceased bothered his brothers next after he was pushed away from his old family home), the revenant is believed to retain some awareness of his life and might go visit various family members and friends if turned away at one place. As well, it was possible to frighten a revenant - which might be "wishful thinking" of 12 century people - hoping that the deceased had retained a shred of humanity (human fear). In some tales, a revenant might be allowed to "hang around" and friends of the recently deceased would simply wait for the revenant to show up at their door one night, pass the "being" some food while turning the revenant out again. Once the revenant made his/its rounds of family and friends, it could THEN be shooed away. Shortly after, during daylight hours, a community would finally dig up the recently deceased's body, remove it from the grave, light it afire to finally stop the midnight wanderings and visits...
Personally, I wonder if the authoress Mary Shelley had "the revenant" creature in mind while writing Frankenstein. In parts, when the creature is still learning to cope with living anew in a fully grown, adult-sized body, his strength is maximum but his co-ordination at a minimum and I think this must have been (still is) a terrifying concept for Victorian era minds. Certainly, because Shelley was literate and well schooled in her times, she would likely have chanced upon works by William Parvus or at least know a bit about him because of his status as an important historian and chronicler.
Revenants truly aren't of one category. They're not a particular "thing," although we tend, as a general community of story listeners, to want to classify and label a persona, character in a tale, etc.
Revenants are extremely interesting because through these beings and through the tales that have already been told for ages and that we will continue to tell, we may be sorting through what we believe about life, death, loyalty, rituals, etc.
William Parvus' revenants are NOT the same revenants in lore of the later Victorian era, nor are William of Newbury's revenants the same as the ones we might hear about as 19th century or present-day revenants.
12th Century revenants seemed to be more of a "wanderer" and a pitiful being than later accounts of the revenant being... Parvus' revenant was a man wronged in life whose death was by an awful accident. (this can be interpreted a couple of ways).
Later, Victorian era revenants seemed much more aware and deliberate about who they visited after death (again, this might be our ideas developing via storytelilng over the years) and their returns from the grave were almost always said to have a purpose....vengeance.
The way Parvus' revenant can be viewed is of a pitiful being with limited awareness. This revenant was afraid when the townspeople rallied around his widow and they scared him off very quickly. It might be said that this revenant was closer to a harmless type of undead being...
However, if we look closely into the account that Parvus provides, it says that the revenant went to his wife's bed and almost crushed her... we can interpret this as a lack of co-ordination in a semi-aware being - OR (a different interpretation) a vengeful action against his wife - except we cannot determine to a sure degree, from Parvus' chronicle text, that the revenant is engaged in vengeful action rather than just "going home" and going to his rightful bed.
Likely, as this tale was re-told, and when it was told in Victorian times, the worldview would bring storytellers to view the 12 century revenant's behaviour as an act of vengeance...
There seems to be a progression of thoughts about death going on with "revenant" tales. The nature of the revenant seems to continue morphing... in earlier times, the revenant is primarily an animated corpse who gets out of his grave then wanders about... a little later in history, the revenant is an animated corpse who won't stay in the grave, wanders about - and, if turned away from his home, will visit other known relatives, friends' homes... by the Victorian era, revenants are mostly thought to defy death due to a personal vendetta - and, consequently, they return to known places and familiar people to exact revenge...
If we look at our modern, present day depictions of, story and films about zombies and vampires and associate these with revenants, our version of revenants is mostly violent, persistent, immortal...
One story involves a man of "evil conduct", on the run from the law, who fled from York and made the ill-fated choice to get married. Becoming jealous of his wife, he hid in the rafters of his bedroom and caught her in an act of infidelity with a local young man, but then accidentally fell to the floor mortally wounding himself, and died a few days later. As Newburgh describes:
"A Christian burial, indeed, he received, though unworthy of it; but it did not much benefit him: for issuing, by the handiwork of Satan, from his grave at night-time, and pursued by a pack of dogs with horrible barkings, he wandered through the courts and around the houses while all men made fast their doors, and did not dare to go abroad on any errand whatever from the beginning of the night until the sunrise, for fear of meeting and being beaten black and blue by this vagrant monster.
A number of the townspeople were killed by the monster and so:"
"Thereupon snatching up a spade of but indifferent sharpness of edge, and hastening to the cemetery, they began to dig; and whilst they were thinking that they would have to dig to a greater depth, they suddenly, before much of the earth had been removed, laid bare the corpse, swollen to an enormous corpulence, with its countenance beyond measure turgid and suffused with blood; while the napkin in which it had been wrapped appeared nearly torn to pieces. The young men, however, spurred on by wrath, feared not, and inflicted a wound upon the senseless carcass, out of which incontinently flowed such a stream of blood, that it might have been taken for a leech filled with the blood of many persons. Then, dragging it beyond the village, they speedily constructed a funeral pile; and upon one of them saying that the pestilential body would not burn unless its heart were torn out, the other laid open its side by repeated blows of the blunted spade, and, thrusting in his hand, dragged out the accursed heart. This being torn piecemeal, and the body now consigned to the flames...."
(Revents Article text courtesy of Mythbuster Smith - Urban Legends.) http://urbanlegendfolkloremyths.blogspot.co.uk/
Media Conditioned Zombieism
Hitler managed to hoodwink 1930’s Germany into an unwinnable world war that lasted under six years.
The US with support from other countries like the UK has been at state of constant war ever since World War II. In fact WWII was merely a continuation of World War I. (Which when you look much deeper actually started in Iraq)
The western allies have been itching for a war with Iran since the 1970’s and with our aircraft already neatly in place after two back to back wars in Iraq it’s just a matter of time before it kicks off again.
All of this wouldn’t be possible without a lot of help from the media. They have certainly been softening us up for the Iran conflict recently.
The media really loves wars, they just can’t get enough of them. These ambulance chasing morons have been stirring shit up for hundreds of years, especially recently.
When things do eventually kick off they will pretend to be surprised about it in the most unconvincing way.
The semblance of moral superiority is important to powers intent on invading countries illegally but
this isn’t easy.
This is why social networks like facebook are now being used to help overthrow countries by
motivating the disaffected youth as in Egypt, Libya, Syria and others with help from the CIA of course.
If you have very high youth unemployment like these countries then you have little to lose. It’s a better
way of doing business but still very messy!
This world recession caused by endless wars probably won’t ever end if they keep on and on about it
like some crazed child with tourettes syndrome. Bankers!
Are you a Zombie or likely to turn into one - Checklist
1. Do you eat a lot of cheap meat products like - burgers?
2. Do you think that tabloid newspapers are exeptable to buy, your excuse being " I only buy them for the sport" ?
3. Do you think that 2 for 1 offers in supermarkets are a good deal? (Even though they doubled those prices last week to compensate)
4. Do you walk around with your trousers hanging down and your undies showing?
5. Do you think the X factor is a fair and uncorrupt competition?
6. Do you think that bankers are good employers that have our best interests at heart?
7. Do you think that the US and other governments are not holding back vital information about Aliens, UFO's and free energy?
8. Do you believe in trickle down economics when we all know it trickles upwards.
9. Do you believe the war on terror is worthwhile even after having caused the massive global recession?
10. Do you believe that the most advanced stealth aircraft are the F117a Nighthawk or the B2 Spirit even though they were designed in the 1970's?
If you answered yes to more than one of these you need to stop eating crappy burgers and see a doctor urgently!